Eurovision 2019 spotlight: Germany's S!sters with "Sister"...

It's time for today's spotlight on the countries and artists taking part in the annual Eurovision Song Contest being held next week in Tel Aviv, Israel. You can catch up with the rest of the series by clicking here. And now we come to another country in the "Big Five", one that had only missed one year since the beginning of the event.

Last year Germany had their best showing since winning in 2010 when singer/songwriter Michael Schulte floored me and the Eurovision audience with his sincere ode to his family "You Let Me Walk Alone". That song finished in fourth place, and I would've been just as satisfied if it had won the whole shebang. This year, as Michael now is part of Germany's national jury that votes in the contest, another act chosen in the country's national final, Unser Lied für Israel. Will Germany be able to carry that momentum this year?

Germany - "Sisters" from S!sters

The winner of that competition turned out to be the duo S!sters, two girls from Hannover - Laurita Spinelli and Carlotta Truman - the latter a veteran of The Voice Kids and Das Supertalent (Germany's version of America's Got Talent). Their song, "Sister", was written by Laurell Barker (a Canadian/British woman who also co-wrote entries from Switzerland and the UK), Marine Kaltenbacher (an Australian/Swiss songwriter), Ton Oehler (a French/Swiss producer), and Thomas Stengard (a Danish songwriter/producer). I'm not sure why it took all these people to write this by-the-numbers female empowerment anthem that Laurita and Carlotta basically scream at each other for three minutes, but it doesn't really have a memorable melody other than the repeated "SISTER!". Also, for a song about supporting each other, lyrics frontloaded with the image of drowning the other person doesn't seem to give me the kumbaya feels. In the national finals, this all came on top of a giant lazy susan that gave the impression that the pair were being microwaved during their performance (which would explain the yelling, though)...

"I tried to hold you under, but you kept breathing"? Really?

Anyhoo, I know the lyrics supposedly drift to now how they support each other, but again, I just can't get over the two just yelling at each other, and there are other more powerful and frankly better self-empowerment songs in this year's Eurovision alone, making this just redundant. And with the lackluster staging they're apparently bringing (losing the lazy susan, gaining a bunch of vague female to female photos), and I very well can see this bringing Germany another bottom-place finish in the finals. And this time deservedly so. Between this and the UK they are scraping the bucket. (Rating: 1/10)

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As I mentioned before, Germany has been involved with Eurovision since its very first year, only missing one in 1996 because of the crazy non-televised qualification round it failed at. In all these years the country has had its ups and downs (especially doing well in the 1980s), but they have only won the event twice, while coming in last seven times. Their first winner came in 1982 when a young singer named just Nicole took the prize with the peace-love anthem "Ein bißchen Frieden" ("A Little Peace")...

In 2010, Germany racked up a second win with Lena (Mayer-Landrut) and her entertainingly bouncy "Satellite"...

"Satellite" is my fave German entry, but a second choice would be actually one of their last-place finishers. Ann Sophie by no means deserved a last place and no points finish with her nuanced "Black Smoke" in 2015. It was written by Ella Eyre, who is an amazing singer in her own right...

Of course, the country has sent its share of crazy to the show, and there's been multiple novelty numbers, but nothing beats 1979 when they sent an act called Dschingis Khan with a song conveniently named "Dschingis Khan". They actually ended up in fourth place with This...

But NO, I can't pick just one, for I definitely can't ignore Guildo Horn in 1998 with "Guildo Hat Euch Lieb!" ("Guildo Loves You!") which has Horn going into the audience and making advances to three of the men in the front row, and ends up with him hanging in the rafters...