Twostepcublog

It's not that the CEO of a company has a personal opinion that I don't agree with. For real, going down that road, Dan Cathy insulted not only the GLBT community, but anyone else who isn't married to their first wives. Remember, he boasted about that as the centerpiece of his nefarious self-righteous quote that grew this meme. But that just means that a great amount of people in line today for a fried sandwich are oblivious that he basically thinks you're trash. But whatever. Lots of people who run business are self-righteous loons. Hell, look at the crazy dolt who runs Whole Foods, John Mackey . He's been much more vocal about his opposition to healthcare reform, unions, and all that other Libertarian bullshit, and tons of gay people still sashay around that organomart. What's got me and a ton of others' panties in a knot is the blatant use of company profits and resources to campaign, promote, and insert themselves into the equality debate . Organizat...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday winner, for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, is Carole Aichele (pictured above for her "happy school librarian" pic), Pennsylvania's Secretary of the Commonwealth (their hoity-toity way of just saying "Secretary of State"). As such she's also responsible for enforcing the recently-passed Voter ID law in the state, which requires specific state-issued photo IDs to be able to vote. This has created a maelstorm of controversy, since figures touting the amount of people who would be disenfranchised by the law seem to be fudged, and the effect of voter fraud greatly exaggerated. And of course a Republican promoter of the law was caught saying that this law would win Pennsylvania for the party. The department of Justice has been looking into this and holding hearings. Now you can argue either way on the validity of suppression claims, as well as the threat of fraud (which the state has yet ...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday winner, given for outstanding female accomplishment in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, is South Carolina governor Nikki Haley, who after trying to "soften" the republican image on the View by saying that "women don't care about contraception" (well, maybe unless when you're fucking your employees ), now is going that extra step to send women's health back to the Dark Ages by eliminating the budget of rape crisis center s in her state. And this is her money quote... serve a portion of our population for which we extend our sympathy and encouragement, but nevertheless, it is only a small portion of South Carolina’s chronically ill or abused.” Haley said the $453,000 designated for the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault’s rape crisis centers “distract[s] from the agency’s broader mission of protecting South Carolina’s public health.”  Wow. That's like her saying ...

This week's winner of the Cee U Next Tuesday award, given for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, is Arizona radio show loon Barbara Espinosa. Barbara, in the form of that aunt you avoid at family affairs, had a funny little quip to say about our current president.... Nice. You gotta give her credit for wearing her racism right out there instead of the shadow shit wordgame that the GOP under Romney has been playing lately. Oh, but of course she's not racist , because the mental succubus' last name is Espinosa (otherwise known as the "Zimmerman defense"). Oh, and by the way loves the reply to that - "Barbara, let me ask you a question: Are you chugging the Robitussin directly from the bottle, or do you pour it into a glass and let it breathe first?". And God, I love these old bitches that think they're of an age that they can just rattle off that shit, no facts, no policy wonk arguments, just pure hatred. ...

It's time to dole out my Cee U Next Tuesday award for the week, which glorifies excellence by women in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery. This week's winner happens to be last week's runner-up , the Mormon answer to Marie Antoinette, Ann Romney. Mother Romney (pictured above), if you remember, is riding a non-coffee high for having her prancing horses qualify for the Olympics. Because nothing says you've pulled yourself up by the bootstraps than cultivating a herd of million-dollar horses that would be partially paid for by...yes YOU the American taxpayer (yay, freedom!). And of course she married old Willard without her parents being allowed in the church, and had her father, an avowed atheist, posthumously converted to their religion. But don't go criticizing the Earth Mother, or the media circus will take you to the shed . It doesn't matter that her idea of "roughing it" is " living off their investment income ", and that ...

photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images So let me get this straight... This dickhole who caused a scene at last Friday's press conference by interrupting and attempting to argue with the president on his assholic assumption that the proposed amnesty directive means Obama favors foreign workers over American ones, yeah, that dickhole, is a foreigner here on a fucking green card .So his whole charade about asking the right questions has nothing to do with his own situation and how well he sucks Tucker Carlson's dick. This right-wing game of Calvinball is getting too fucking ridiculous. Romney says Obama is out of touch. Romney proceeds to be amazed by the Wawas ( sic ) and their newfangled hoagie-orderin' machine as a fucking Friedmanesque sign of the sanctity of the free economy, whatever the fuckall that means. It's just getting to be "play the game of say whatever crazy and see if anything sticks", isn't it? It's like the political process has become ...

Look, Ma, I can get blown with no hands! Today Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JP Morgan, not the bubbly judge from the Gong Show , but the company that sort of lost 2 billion fucking dollars from the economy, was hauled before Congress so that they could indict him on fraud charges lick his balls like an overeager eunuch. Dimon testified before the Senate Banking Committee, which by the name would seem to imply a certain assumption of knowledge about the subject. But instead we get this from South Carolina's (that's the brain-addled Carolina) Jim DeMint, King of the "Tea Party".... "We can hardly sit in judgement of your losing $2 billion," the junior senator from South Carolina explained. "We lose twice that every day here in Washington and plan to continue to do that every day. It's comforting to know that even with a $2 billion loss in a trade last year, your company still, I think, had a $19 billion profit. During that same period, we lost ov...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday award for female excellence in the normally male-dominated field of douchebaggery is a two-fer this time. Double your crazy! Marsha Looper (the mulletness to the above left) is a state rep in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She's been pretty much a career-type Repub rep in the house, basing her platform on eminent domain issues and government seizing of property. Pretty innocuous stuff, even bucking the Tancredo-based nuts in her state's party by working with Democrats over worker visa legislation. But it's 2012, and nothing spells you're out of ideas than a good old gaybashing. Colorado attempted to pass civil union legislation - mind you not marriage but O'Doul's-style unions, supported by the current governor John Hickenlooper, but voted down by being trapped in legislative purgatory. Looper, who voted against the bill, is in a primary battle with another state rep , since Colorado's gone under reapportionment of ...

Don't deny the hot lesbians!

Screw Ann Romney. I am totally tired of the deification of this Stepford Wife because she was able to turn a critique on her perennially-wealthy life to be some sort of "attack" on "stay at home moms". Yo Ann, you know what's an attack on stay-at-home moms? THIS: It's been a couple weeks since the legendary "War Againsts Moms" meme slash bullshit that the GOP establishment assisted by the "ooh yay we have an easy-ass narrative" media borg, but I'm still seething about it. Ann Romney proved to be the queen of victimhood when fellow Washington (but center-left-leaning) tool Hilary Rosen forgot her PR training with a totally-true but clumsily worded quip about Romney not working a day in your life. This started up the panty-twisting machine that distorted the whole off-the-cuff comment into a heathen barrage on all stay-at-home mom's. Even the President had to tuck it in and refute the claim, ...

This week's Quisling (named for the infamous Norwegian leader who sold his country out to the Nazis) is Richard Grenell, Willard Romney's new foreign policy spokesman . While I should be gleeful that his appointment is drawing the ire of the fire-and-brimstone neanderthals, his attempt on being the catty GOP gay-friend only to go try to disinfect his Twitter account of his blatherings on Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, and the Gingriches is pretty comical. Recently this douchenozzle opined that Rachel Maddow should "take a breath and put on a necklace", alluding to a) the fact that she can speak coherently without mouthbreathing and b) nod nod wink wink is a big ol' LESBIAN. SHOCKER! Yo, Dick (it is short for Richard, no?), is this the witty banter that gets you blocked on Grindr? For someone whose verbal affectation makes Marcus Bachmann seem like Clint Eastwood, you certainly love to throw rhinestones in glass houses. I recently watched a fluffy gay rom...

So Paul Babeu, sheriff of Pinal County, the Orange County of Arizona in terms of batshit dittohead fervor, has a new ad up in his already doomed campaign for the US Congress attempting to take shots at President Obama's administration in combating illegal immigration. This from a guy whose idea of border security is shacking up with an undocumented Mexican, then threatening deportation when the relationship went sour because he was playing the field as well. Maybe it's in the best interest to set up a security wall around his anus. Maybe it's time to step back and reevaluate your life, since your personal shit in this case has everything to do with your political shit. And the hypocrisy proves you're nothin' but a bully with a badge. And what befuddles me is that he probably is counting on the support of Quisling GOProud types that find no problem with overlooking what he has done for their fantasies of the tough gay cop. Well, I'm positive this wouldn't b...

Dear Governor Christie, using a pie reference , especially with an "infinite" quality, only highlights your gluttony, dillweed. And talking to the public like an asshole doesn't make you a "straight-talker", but pretty much of a douchebag. Now go away. Toodles, twostepcub

A sign that all that's just isn't just from the ocean-bordered parts of America, the Supreme Court of Montana issued a ruling upholding a ban on state and local election spending by corporations , something the half-corrupt US Supreme Court didnt in Citizens United . That this happened in a place that could be swung by the power of the big mining and forestry companies, gives hope that given the chance and the right group, could reassess the federal ruling. And that, my friends, is ten times more important that the race between Mr. "Man On Dog" and Mr. "Dog On Car" for who's going to lose this November.

I couldn't resist. As we begin the arduous task ahead on choosing who is going to lose the presidency this year, the reality show called the Republican primary made its "Rock Of No Love" tour stop in Iowa today, in a caucus attended by less people than a normal Bon Jovi concert and just as meaningful. I know we should all hold in great awe the power of a state with less people than Brooklyn and Queens, but after seeing week upon week of media and stumpers falling over themselves to see exactly what combination of rascism, homophobia, and jingoism will win over votes of people who consider Applebee's a "haute cuisine dining experience", I'm pretty much over the whole process. And face it, the Republican party has become nothing but a bunch of grown-up bullies, bent on judging and persecuting others not like them (or in many cases, like them). It does surprise me at times how the gay-marriage card can be thrown still (though not for much longer). There is...

Yesterday's two primary races in California, for Governor and Senator, proved triumphant for for two women , Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina (pictured above). Whitman, the former CEO of eBay, spent 71 million dollars of her personal wealth for so far just the primary election, while former (and notably ousted) HP CEO Fiorina spent 5 million of her own. Both are pretending to ride some sort of populist uprising, but of course they both represent nothing but the deregulation-hungry assholes that rape the common 'people' the teabagger contingent also pretends to be. Both offered nuanced right-wing talking point blather to gain the votes in the primary, and hopefully both will get nailed on them in the general election. Neither Jerry Brown nor Barbara Boxer is a novice in dealing with these two morons. Both Whitman and Fiorina have proven gaffe-prone, while not really having a truthful position on anything but business. Which they want hands off. Like BP. And see where that go...

In honor of today's primary elections in South Carolina and California, today's Cee-U-Next-Tuesday award for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery is a double surprise! In South Carolina, home of more political craziness than you can shake a Appalachian stick at, Nikki Haley has somehow overshadowed Mark "Pampass" Sanford by having accusations of not just one, but two, lackey Lotharios who say they had "relations" with Haley . Since then, after a few deflated denials, Haley comes with the "if I'm elected, then proven to have had an affair, I'll resign" tactic. Sure, bitch. Then the Lt. Gov (from the same party) would fill in. Nice try, stupid. Meanwhile, in California (of course), birther queen Orly Taitz is running for Secretary of State . Yes, the woman who has brought up so many false lawsuits questioning President Obama's birthplace that she was fined 20,000 dollars, is aspiring to a position responsible fo...

So, let me get this straight. Some genius with a flipcam can stop 89-year-old Helen Thomas, an Arab-American, and ask what she thinks about Israel. This is after an aid boat was raided in international waters and 9 people killed, though of course for effect that was left out. With a lens basically on top of her face, this is what she said. Now beyond what looks like a deliberite edit, the thought of sending Israeli Jews to Germany and Poland is of course an indefensible slam on the exile from the Holocaust, but of course considering the horrible history of the treatment of Palestinians (who, mind you, had nothing to do with said Holocaust), someone who has seen the plight people in her area (her parents are Lebanese immigrants, though of the Catholic sect) and I can honestly see the emotional response from her. But of course, since she's #1) a woman, and #2) a persistent reporter who asks tough questions, the guvmint/media fuckfest finally get their chance to have her head. After i...

It's been over a month since an oil rig exploded in the Gulf of Mexico, causing oil and carbon pollutants to spill into the area in the hundreds of thousands of gallons. So far almost 62,000 square miles have been blocked from fishing , and since the ooze along with the possibly toxic dispursants BP has been using have hit the shorelines of Louisiana and beyond, an irrevocable catastrophe has hit the same area that mother nature only temporarily shut down a few years before. Finally, after all this the administration is setting to do something, as the Attorney Generals office is preparing criminal investigations and admitting that BP is not to be trusted . A well pipe has been cut to prepare for a cap , but now more oil is flowing than ever. The thing is, would we actually be waiting all this time if this amount of oil would be spewing on land? And why isn't that fuckweasel CEO who is shouting for newscameras to stop filming in jail? And where is the idiot brigade with the ...

This week's Cee-U-Next-Tuesday award recipient, for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, goes to California Republican gubernatorial candidate Carly "I Fucked Up IBM, so vote me in!" Fiorina, for sending out a Passover letter to her supporters which read ... This week, as we break bread and spend time with our families and friends, I hope we also take a moment to say a word of thanks for our freedom and for those who have given their lives in freedom's name. Let us also look ahead with hope to the opportunities to come. um, yeah. Carly Simonona? The basis FOR Passover was that they don't have bread, in honor of the Jews fleeing Egypt who couldn't wait for the bread to rise. Why don't you just tell them to enjoy the ham, as well? And instead of just apologizing, she releases a pandering followup email saying she meant ALL bread, including Matzo. Yeah. because saying "matzo" would possibly offend your Jesus Freaks yo...