Twostepcublog

" About A Girl " - Nirvana from the albums Bleach (1989) and MTV Unplugged In New York (1994) Billboard Hot 100 peak: ineligible to chart Billboard Hot 100 Airplay peak: #22 (two weeks) Weeks in the Airplay Top-40: 11 Today's song of the day comes from the altermative rock band Nirvana , who helped to change the course of rock music on the radio in the beginning of 1992 with the top ten pop hit (and crib of Boston's "More Than A Feeling") " Smells Like Teen Spirit ". Also coming from their #1 album Nevermind was the top-40 single " Come As You Are ", which would be their last physical single to make the top-40. The band's sophomore album, In Utero , came in the fall of 1993, and from it the song " All Apologies " had enough mainstream pop airplay to rise to #45 on the Hot 100 Airplay component of the official American pop chart, but on the week it did, Cobain took his life with a gun at his home in Seattle. Whi...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday winner, for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, is Carole Aichele (pictured above for her "happy school librarian" pic), Pennsylvania's Secretary of the Commonwealth (their hoity-toity way of just saying "Secretary of State"). As such she's also responsible for enforcing the recently-passed Voter ID law in the state, which requires specific state-issued photo IDs to be able to vote. This has created a maelstorm of controversy, since figures touting the amount of people who would be disenfranchised by the law seem to be fudged, and the effect of voter fraud greatly exaggerated. And of course a Republican promoter of the law was caught saying that this law would win Pennsylvania for the party. The department of Justice has been looking into this and holding hearings. Now you can argue either way on the validity of suppression claims, as well as the threat of fraud (which the state has yet ...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday winner, given for outstanding female accomplishment in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, is South Carolina governor Nikki Haley, who after trying to "soften" the republican image on the View by saying that "women don't care about contraception" (well, maybe unless when you're fucking your employees ), now is going that extra step to send women's health back to the Dark Ages by eliminating the budget of rape crisis center s in her state. And this is her money quote... serve a portion of our population for which we extend our sympathy and encouragement, but nevertheless, it is only a small portion of South Carolina’s chronically ill or abused.” Haley said the $453,000 designated for the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault’s rape crisis centers “distract[s] from the agency’s broader mission of protecting South Carolina’s public health.”  Wow. That's like her saying ...

This week's winner of the Cee U Next Tuesday award, given for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, is Arizona radio show loon Barbara Espinosa. Barbara, in the form of that aunt you avoid at family affairs, had a funny little quip to say about our current president.... Nice. You gotta give her credit for wearing her racism right out there instead of the shadow shit wordgame that the GOP under Romney has been playing lately. Oh, but of course she's not racist , because the mental succubus' last name is Espinosa (otherwise known as the "Zimmerman defense"). Oh, and by the way loves the reply to that - "Barbara, let me ask you a question: Are you chugging the Robitussin directly from the bottle, or do you pour it into a glass and let it breathe first?". And God, I love these old bitches that think they're of an age that they can just rattle off that shit, no facts, no policy wonk arguments, just pure hatred. ...

It's time to dole out my Cee U Next Tuesday award for the week, which glorifies excellence by women in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery. This week's winner happens to be last week's runner-up , the Mormon answer to Marie Antoinette, Ann Romney. Mother Romney (pictured above), if you remember, is riding a non-coffee high for having her prancing horses qualify for the Olympics. Because nothing says you've pulled yourself up by the bootstraps than cultivating a herd of million-dollar horses that would be partially paid for by...yes YOU the American taxpayer (yay, freedom!). And of course she married old Willard without her parents being allowed in the church, and had her father, an avowed atheist, posthumously converted to their religion. But don't go criticizing the Earth Mother, or the media circus will take you to the shed . It doesn't matter that her idea of "roughing it" is " living off their investment income ", and that ...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday award for female excellence in the normally male-dominated field of douchebaggery is a two-fer this time. Double your crazy! Marsha Looper (the mulletness to the above left) is a state rep in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She's been pretty much a career-type Repub rep in the house, basing her platform on eminent domain issues and government seizing of property. Pretty innocuous stuff, even bucking the Tancredo-based nuts in her state's party by working with Democrats over worker visa legislation. But it's 2012, and nothing spells you're out of ideas than a good old gaybashing. Colorado attempted to pass civil union legislation - mind you not marriage but O'Doul's-style unions, supported by the current governor John Hickenlooper, but voted down by being trapped in legislative purgatory. Looper, who voted against the bill, is in a primary battle with another state rep , since Colorado's gone under reapportionment of ...

Screw Ann Romney. I am totally tired of the deification of this Stepford Wife because she was able to turn a critique on her perennially-wealthy life to be some sort of "attack" on "stay at home moms". Yo Ann, you know what's an attack on stay-at-home moms? THIS: It's been a couple weeks since the legendary "War Againsts Moms" meme slash bullshit that the GOP establishment assisted by the "ooh yay we have an easy-ass narrative" media borg, but I'm still seething about it. Ann Romney proved to be the queen of victimhood when fellow Washington (but center-left-leaning) tool Hilary Rosen forgot her PR training with a totally-true but clumsily worded quip about Romney not working a day in your life. This started up the panty-twisting machine that distorted the whole off-the-cuff comment into a heathen barrage on all stay-at-home mom's. Even the President had to tuck it in and refute the claim, ...

In honor of today's primary elections in South Carolina and California, today's Cee-U-Next-Tuesday award for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery is a double surprise! In South Carolina, home of more political craziness than you can shake a Appalachian stick at, Nikki Haley has somehow overshadowed Mark "Pampass" Sanford by having accusations of not just one, but two, lackey Lotharios who say they had "relations" with Haley . Since then, after a few deflated denials, Haley comes with the "if I'm elected, then proven to have had an affair, I'll resign" tactic. Sure, bitch. Then the Lt. Gov (from the same party) would fill in. Nice try, stupid. Meanwhile, in California (of course), birther queen Orly Taitz is running for Secretary of State . Yes, the woman who has brought up so many false lawsuits questioning President Obama's birthplace that she was fined 20,000 dollars, is aspiring to a position responsible fo...

This week's Cee-U-Next-Tuesday award recipient, for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, goes to California Republican gubernatorial candidate Carly "I Fucked Up IBM, so vote me in!" Fiorina, for sending out a Passover letter to her supporters which read ... This week, as we break bread and spend time with our families and friends, I hope we also take a moment to say a word of thanks for our freedom and for those who have given their lives in freedom's name. Let us also look ahead with hope to the opportunities to come. um, yeah. Carly Simonona? The basis FOR Passover was that they don't have bread, in honor of the Jews fleeing Egypt who couldn't wait for the bread to rise. Why don't you just tell them to enjoy the ham, as well? And instead of just apologizing, she releases a pandering followup email saying she meant ALL bread, including Matzo. Yeah. because saying "matzo" would possibly offend your Jesus Freaks yo...

So last week it was bad enough that after a lunatic flew his plane into the IRS building in an act of domesstic terrorism, right wing pundits and politicians such as Scott Brown thinly veiled almost lauding the act by equating it with the faux "teabagger" anti-government outrage that is just a sham for a bunch of angry white people who hate having a "darkie" for president as well as their shyster enablers (Beck, Breitbart, Limbaugh et al). This morning brought ABC news, hungry for disaster porn since Haiti got old, interviewed said lunatic's adult daughter, direct from Norway (who buy the way has a public, taxpayer provided health system, just sayin') to talk about her father. Asked during a phone interview broadcast Monday if she considered her father a hero, she said: "Yes. Because now maybe people will listen." Oh my gravy. Immediately she tried to whitewash the statement saying... Bell said she offered her deepest condolences to Hunter's ...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday award for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery is a grim one. Amy Fisher, professor at University of Alabama-Huntsville of microbiology, disgruntled over being denied tenure, came to a staff meeting and shot six people and killed three. Since then, a history of violence that includes the shooting of her brother that was originally judged an accident, but the circumstances do not in any way point to that.. After the 1986 shooting, Amy Bishop told police she thought she had ruined the kitchen, but did not realize she had hit her brother. She said she ran away and thought she dropped the gun, which went off a third time. She did not remember anything else until she was taken to a police station. But police and witnesses say she fled with the gun to a car dealership, where she pointed it at employees and demanded a getaway car. Police said it took 11 days before they could interview family members because they were so distraug...

This weeks winner of the Cee U Next Tuesday award for female excellence in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery is BET co-founder Sheila Johnson , who was caught at a fundraiser for Republican Virginia gubernatorial candidate Bob McDonnell making fun of opponent Craig Deeds for a stutter. As a person similiarly affected (though tamed through a lot of therapy and practice), I say this to this shill of bad sitcom reruns and bad music shows.... F-F-F-F-Fuck you, bitch. For this, you win this weeks C-U-N-T award, which you can directly shove in your mouth to plug the thing up already.

This week's winner of the Cee U Next Tuesday award for female excellence in the male-driven field of douchebaggery is Fox producer Heidi Noonan, who, thanks to the glory of youtube, is caught rallying up the scant ragged crew of mouthbreathers that descended on Washington a little over a week ago. The "9/12" movement gathering, coined by dickweed-in-chief Glenn Beck to "bring America together like we were on 9/12/01", which translated from the original fucktard means "lets go scream and yell at the brown people in the White House", apparently wasn't hyped-up enough for Fox's already cheerleading broadcast, so Buffy Producerpants pumps up the loons behind the idiot Geek-Squad toss-off they had "covering" the weekend . Fox, of course, is somewhat putting a "Who, me?" air on, with Fox News VP Bill Sammons shitting out a "don't do it again" decree, but knowing Fox, this cunt and her male gay porn-librarian side...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday, the woman who excels in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, is One Life To Live actress (well, former ) Patricia Mauceri. Mauceri was replaced on the soap opera because of her refusal to act or compromise with writers regarding a storyline involving her fictional son coming out of the closet. Her objection? That the mother was portrayed as too sympathetic to her son's condition. Not that she would have to kiss a girl, or do nude scenes, or whatever - just being positive was too much for her , as it would go against her "religious" views. Mauceri says it was those objections that got her fired -- she says her character would not have been accepting. "I did not object to being in a gay story line,” Mauceri said in a statement. “I objected to speaking the truth of what that person, how that person would live and breathe and act in that story line," she said. "And this goes against everything I am, my belief system,...

Tonight's Cee U Next Tuesday award, which is given to the women who boldly break the glass floor to the sewer of douchbaggery in which men excel, goes to CNBC's Maria Bartiromo. Maria proves that Jim Cramer isn't the only ignorant asshole on the network during her segment with New York congressman Anthony Weiner . After Weiner extols the benefits of a public plan, comparing it to Medicare, which has a huge satisfaction and success rate, Bartiromo asks in all honesty, "How come you don't use it [Medicare]? You don't have it. How come you don't have it?". Um, dumbass, Rep. Weiner is 45. F-ing DUH. And this is who they have on their business channel? WTF? And she rolls out the "you'll die of cancer in England" right-wingnut meme that's been floating around. Maria, you've proved once and for-all that you are a certified fucktard and have no business being on television until you get your ass to remedial school. Stat. Becuase there...

This week's Republican Douchebag award winner goes to Kansas (as in "What's the Matter With...") Rep. Lynn Jenkins, who would've won the C U Next Tuesday award for female douchbaggery if I had read this two days ago. Jenkins held a town hall meeting , which apparently for her means Republican party campaign meeting, last week in Hiawatha, Kansas. In heralding what she feels as a new wave of Republican hopefuls that will save this great land from the dictatorship apparently secretly imposed on us by our rightfully (for once) elected president, she invoked the insightful and colorful phrase "Great White Hope". As in "save us from the scary black man". As in its most famous usage, the search for the boxer that would wrest the heavyweight title from the first black champion, Jack Johnson . That hype culminated in race clashes that followed Johnson's victory over rascist goon James Jeffries. Lynn, dear, don't pretend you don't know how ...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday (C-U-N-T) winner is Delaware's answer to the crazy bitch during the election that screamed about an "inexperienced black male". This one interrupts a town hall by Republican Mike Castle of Delaware to rant about believing the thirty-times disproven claim that President Obama is not an American citizen, and therefore ineligible to be president. She goes on even after Castle meekly states in fact he is a citizen and is president, wherefore this moron goes off the deepend culminating in the Pledge Of Allegiance (for what it's worth), egged on by the mouthbreathing dickholes that remain in the Grand Old Party today. This stupid bitch runs rampant in the county where I work, where ignorant McMansion suburbanites chatter on about some tidbit they overheard on Sean Hannity whilst they were taking their Percosets. Honey, just because you have a black "friend" that you talk about behind their back anyway, doesn't mean you...

Liz Cheney, is a fucked up person. Apparently trying to redeem herself to her father as the alphamale of his progeny (and effectively out-butch Mary), Ms. Cheney has spread herself over all the talkie programs protecting her father's "honor", after leaked investigations into a secret CIA program that may or may not have involved either assassinating people or spying on Americans. Of course, like any Bush/Cheney Republican, this isn't based on any facts ... Asked directly on MSNBC whether her father directed the CIA not to keep Congress fully informed about the secret program, Cheney said, "This is a classified program and he doesn't talk about classified programs." Then why is this bitch on , then? If it's to titillate us into thinking you may run for some office or another, your only different with Palin is your capacity for calculated and somewhat learned evil. Go take your Dick and fuck yourselves in your hidden bunker. Visit msnbc.com for Break...

Today's C-U-N-T, for women's progress in douchebaggery, is Susan "self-righteous pussy" Ruse, for enjoying for Kate Gosselin-esque 15 minutes of fame on CNN to gloat about the killing of Dr. Tiller, with the smug Scarlet-letter face as she pretends to slip with the "Dr. Killer" jab. Lord forbid she offer up any facts. To be clear, even Contessa Brewer sounds reasonable. Keep it up, Susan Fucktard, oh, I mean Ruse , excuse me, and karma may have your daughter (or son's girlfriend) seeking an appointment with a sicko hack with a coat hanger. That wouldn't be right, but that's the world you're pushing these desperate women in. If people like her would expend as much energy trying to help the children that are already born in poverty, this world would be just a little better, eh?

Out short but not-so-sweet C-U-N-T for female dickishness again goes to the Minnesota lunatic whose name is not Norm Coleman, Michelle Bachmann. Rep. Bachmann out-Palins herself again for her fantasy over the swine flu , which somehow she must connect with a left-wing conspiracy. Witness the crazy... Now mind you, that little old swine flu she's talking about was from 1976 , when Gerald Ford was in office. But let's not us get the facts in the way of her rabid Republican talking points . So, Michelle, you win this week's Cee U next Tuesday award. You should know where you can stick it by now.