Cee U Next Tuesday winner of the week....One Life To Leave...

This week's Cee U Next Tuesday, the woman who excels in the male-dominated field of douchebaggery, is One Life To Live actress (well, former) Patricia Mauceri. Mauceri was replaced on the soap opera because of her refusal to act or compromise with writers regarding a storyline involving her fictional son coming out of the closet. Her objection? That the mother was portrayed as too sympathetic to her son's condition. Not that she would have to kiss a girl, or do nude scenes, or whatever - just being positive was too much for her, as it would go against her "religious" views.

Mauceri says it was those objections that got her fired -- she says her character would not have been accepting.

"I did not object to being in a gay story line,” Mauceri said in a statement. “I objected to speaking the truth of what that person, how that person would live and breathe and act in that story line," she said. "And this goes against everything I am, my belief system, and what I know the character's belief system is aligned to."

Umm, Ms. Mauceri?

You're a fucking soap opera actress.

That's like saying that you're an Orthodox Jew working at Hormel. You are on a daily parades of musical-chair sleeparounds, but apparently that's nothing compared to the horror or being paid to act like you're the compassionate mother of a son struggling with his identity. Your job is to portray a character. Not yourself. A fucking character. Thousands of actors and actresses play roles that do not fit who they are as a person (Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs, anyone?). So stop playing victim. Maybe there's an opening at the Lancaster, PA dinner theatre production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Until then, take your C-U-N-T award, you might need it to defend yourself from the throng of unemployed waiters and waitresses that would decimate you to get that role. Oh, and by the way, sorry to say, the award isn't battery-operated.

Toodles,
twostepcub

P.S. Eat Me.