Eurovision 2022 Spotlight: The Grand Final...

 

 

Well, we've come to the final moment in this year's Eurovision Song Contest season. The two semi-finals are over, with the requisite bloodbath that whittled 20 finalists out of 35 contenders. You can check out my recaps of the songs in those two semis in part one and part two of my series. The twenty that made it out, for better (Australia) or for worse (Serbia) will be joined in the final by the "Big Five": Germany, Spain, the United Kingdom, France, and this year's hosts, Italy. Since they provide a much higher chunk of funding towards the contest, they don't have to bother with any qualification worries. Now, for a long while this has created a bit of resentment among the other countries, and I can't deny it seems like it has had an effect on the results, with a placing in the bottom common. Last year was an anomaly, with the UK, Spain, Germany, and hosts the Netherlands (which also get an automatic pass to the final) found themselves in the last places, but the top two spots were Italy and France. This year, many of the Big Five are considered favorites as well. Here they are in order of their placement in the final...

6. France - "Fulenn" ("Spark") by Alvan and Ahez

This bewitching ethno-techno song from France and the second time in the 63 times they've competed that will be in the Celtic Breton language of the Brittany region of the country. It immediately reminds of Ukraine's "Shum" from last year's Go-A, which was one of my top-5 and would've been very happy if they had won. It's great to see such a left-field entry from the traditionally conservative entries the country has sent, and while it's not quite on a level as "Shum", it does tell a interesting story and I hope does well in the end.

(7/10)

9. Italy - "Brividi" ("Shivers") by Mahmood and Blanco

After winning last years Eurovision with now worldwide stars Maneskin, the country tries for a rare double-play with this elegant and emotional ballad from Mahmood, who came in second in 2019 with his "Soldi". This year the singer pairs with singer/rapper Blanco for this duet that's ambiguous in its relation for the pair. Mahmood is openly gay, but this isn't necessarily a love song towards Blanco, but possibly rather a commiseration of romantic troubles between them for other people, as shown in the music video. At one point, it was my winner, and still is way up there in my ranking.

(8/10)

10. Spain - "Slo Mo" by Chanel

The sole "slut bop" left in the contest (well, unless you're counting Romania's "gay bop"), Chanel brings some J-Lo swagger to the contest for a country that's been unfairly treated the last few year (I mean, "La Venda" was the bomb). It's not my bag, but it's not meant to be, but I can appreciate the professional quality of this package, and while yes, it's a package, at least it doesn't pretend to be something else, and she can command the stage live. I expect Spain's best showing in decades, definitely a top ten finish at least. Wouldn't be mad if this won.

(6/10)

13. Germany - "Rockstars" by Malik Harris

 

 Out of the Big Five entries, this is the only one that's left me cold. I don't blame Harris, who delivers a personal subdued song, and shouldn't be ashamed of it at all, but in a year that has such commanding music and brash dance jams, this adult-pop by the numbers will most like get lost in the shuffle. But a definite improvement on last year's pile of dung with "I Don't Feel Hate", a song I actively despised. 

(4/10)

22. The United Kingdom - "Space Man" by Sam Ryder

Who'd have thought that perennial Eurovision butts of jokes the UK has really got a shot at actually winning this year. With the shitshow that is Brexit has faded in peoples mind, but more importantly, this year its the artist himself that is fueling the fervor. Sam Ryder, an everyman that came to fame on the TikTok app by singing cover songs with his incredible voice, is a genuinely nice and positive force that once his announcement came in, it wasn't about England but about him, and that's a good thing. The song is unabashedly British, taking musical cues from the Beatles, Elton John, and Queen, and making something just of his own, and writing the song with Ed Sheeran's collaborator surely doesn't hurt. I certainly hope the results match the hype.

(9/10)

So here we go. Personally, I'll be rooting for Poland, the Czech Republic, Australia, the UK, and Ukraine for the top five, with Serbia, Estonia, and Norway at the bottom. So here goes...