Eurovision 2014 Recap - The Bearded Pearl...

As any gay man with a Facebook or Twitter feed probably knows by now, "bearded drag superstar" Conchita Wurst won the Eurovision Song Contest in Copenhagen on Saturday, beating out entries from 36 other nations in a multi-month process that is really like the Gay Olympics (as opposed to the Oscars). As truly wonderful Conchita's win was, there's three things that make it truly notable. First, the fact that while her appearance is certainly a novelty, her talent is certainly not. Wurst not only has an amazing voice, but was able to knock in out of the park live time after time (which you have to do during the selection process). I'm certain even if you didn't see Conchita sing this song would've been a prime contender out of the gate. Second, the amount she won by was impressive, winning the semi-final by over forty points and the finals by over 50. Third, as much as the beard may be part "gimmick", she's been living this persona for years, not transforming this for a shot at the contest. And maybe the fact that a trans performer had already won Eurovision with Israel's Dana International, that Conchita's take on the "T" on LGBT differenciates her from Dana in the ears of the Euro fans.

Here's Conchita's performance at the finals, where she truly shines like a diamond...

Now I would've definitely given Wurst my 12 points, but there were some other really good performances that deserve attention (for good and for bad), after the break...

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My personal choice for second (10 points) would be the bear from Norway, Carl Espen, with his haunting falsetto on "Silent Storm"....

For third (8 points) my pick would have been the Spanish entry, Ruth Lorenzo, with "Dancing In The Rain". It started off rather slowly, but she really nailed it at the end...

Next up with 7 point I'd go with Hungary's disarmingly handsome Andras Kallay-Saunders with the anti-domestic violence song "Running", though if his voice was stronger in his live performance he might have done even better....

Iceland's Pollaponk would have nabbed 6 points from me for their charming "No Predjudice". And they seem like the act I would want to hang out with the most..

The Mediterranean island nation of Malta entered the contest with another top-notch folk-rock nugget with "Coming Home" by Firelight, which seems the most radio-friendly of the songs on here...

The contest-formed duo of the Common Linnets came in second at Eurovision, and while their studio version of "Calm After The Storm" is truly sublime, the final live performance was a tiny tiny bit shaky...

Great Britain has been getting a bad rap at the contest, with voting blogs from the eastern nations hampering their chances, and while Molly finished only 17th with "Children Of The Universe", I would've had the neo-flowerchild in my top-ten. It was a refreshing departure to the usual fluff and adult-pop they've been sending...

In any other year, Sweden's entry, "Undo" by Sanna Nielsen, would've done much better, but that's just a testament to the quality of songs in this go...

Finally, I would've completed my top ten with 1 point for the Armenian entry, "Not Alone" by Aram MP3 (though his inclusion is dubious for remarks he made then retracted about the winner)...

Now here's how the top ten actually panned out, with the original videos for the songs. Notice how Russia rolled in at 7th, with "crony states" in tow (and Crimea's vote included in the Ukraine totals, shaaade)...

1. Conchita Wurst (Austria) - "Rise Like A Phoenix"
2. The Common Linnets (The Netherlands) - "Calm After The Storm"
3. Sanna Nielsen (Sweden) - "Undo"
4. Aram MP3 (Armenia) - "Not Alone"
5. Andras Kallay-Saunders (Hungary) - "Running"
6. Mariya Yaremchuk (Ukraine) - "Tick-Tock"
7. The Tolmachevy Sisters (Russia) - "Shine"
8. Carl Espen (Norway) - "Silent Storm"
9. Basim (Denmark) - "Cliche Love Song"
10. Ruth Lorenzo (Spain) - "Dancing In The Rain"

As for the worst, there were some horrible horrible songs....like Poland's sexist and excrable  "My Slowanie" from Donatan and Cleo. Like a bad Gwen Stefani/Iggy Azalea amalgam...

In the finals, at least Poland's performance was tight, which is not what I'd say for Greece's Freaky Fortune and RiskyKidd...

I think France gave up even trying anymore - even their own country's people won't buy the entry in any big amounts the last few years, and with a spastic piffle like Twin Twin's "Moustache", who would blame them. They got an embarrassing two point from the entire voting panel at the finals...

But if you really want to go to the bottom of the pile, you've got to check the ones eliminated before the finals, like the musical dump that is Latvia's entry "Cake To Bake" by Aarzemnieki..

I leave off with something better - namely the treasure of hotness in this year's contest..Besides Hungary, Malta, Norway, and Iceland, the guys from Switzerland's Sebalter (especially the banjo guy) are quite easy on the eyes...

as well as the back-up dancers for Belarus' Teo...

You can pick up the double CD with all of the Eurovision studio versions by clicking here - it's a great CD to play in the car. Next year, Austria bound! (Well, not me, though one year I will have to go)