part 3: How Glee Became Unbearable in 10 uneasy steps: Praying to the gods of iTunes...


This is a story about how Glee turned into Kidz Bop.

A long, long time ago in a plotline far, far away, a little show featuring unknown kids singing old songs and showtunes debuted on Fox.

When Glee debuted back in 2009, the idea of spontaneous singing in a scripted serial show was laughed at. Every media source brought up the Cop Rock disaster, a show that had policemen and jury rooms break out into rock opera (it's as good as that sounds), and the more recent Viva Laughlin, which tried the same shtick with a casino that lasted eight episodes.

 What they didn't get is the Glee wasn't aiming to be like that. If anything, it strove for the recent High School Musical ideal, which was huge (the soundtrack was one of the top 5 CDs of that year. It also gleaned the same themes - school kids brought together by performing, and the contrast between that and the school sports scene. With that premise, the introduction of musical interludes was much easier to swallow, and as "show" scenes are intrinsically different from "crime" scenes, more flexible in the material they could pass over.

Now, lost to time, Glee's seemingly original take on breakthrough song "Don't Stop Believin'" was cribbed from a 2007 version by Petra Haden. But taking the acappella beginning, adding a dramatic buildup, and Lea Michele's Celine-ish wail, and the climax of the pilot became the signature song for the show throughout the first season (it's telling that it would almost seem out of place, now).

What made Glee so successful at the start was Ryan Murphy's control over both the writing and the musical direction, allowing a synergy between words and script that worked. Murphy would choose both former "guilty pleasure" hits ("Can't Fight This Feeling") as well as obscure tracks (Jazmine Sullivan's "Bust Your Windows") shuffled with a big helping of showtunes ("Mr. Cellophane"). In Ryan's words...

Ryan Murphy, the creator of the series, said in an interview in May that the search for music has been an integral part of the script development. “Each episode has a theme at its core,” he said. “After I write the script, I will choose songs that help to move the story along.” 

And for season one, that held true. The reason the character development and script were so coherent was that Ryan and all were writing the show for the plot, and the songs would be relevant jimmies on the ice cream sundae. And the songs themselves often pushed the story along, like Kurt's two performances of "Single Ladies" bookended the episode about his coming out to his dad.

                                                                 god do I miss this Kurt!

Songs like "Papa Don't Preach" (on the ep where Quinn tells her folks she's "Preggers") and "Jessie's Girl" (where Finn was vying for Rachel with rival Jesse St. James) were so carefully chosen that they became part of the narrative, and even toss-off's like "Bust A Move" (during Mr. Shue's horrible "rap" period) were nothing more than a slight distraction. The pinnacle of this integration was "Defying Gravity", where both Kurt and Rachel vied for a solo with a singoff which played off Kurt's high-register vocal ability, and was one of both of their shining moments.

                                                                  this, this, this, and THIS.

 Another tool in Glee's arsenal was the "mash-up", which before then was relegated to DJ records like Soulwax that mixed two songs (mostly distinct opposite style songs) together for an entire new interpretation. What Ryan and Glee did with that concept was reformat for the pop world with hits like Beyonce's "Halo" with Katrina & The Waves' "Walking On Sunshine", or the Police's "Don't Stand So Close to Me" with Gary Puckett's "Young Girl" (one of the few Mr. Shue relevant songs). With these arrangements, they brought something different to the table, and even though they may have been the more off-plot songs of that time (save Mr. Shue's above), these mash-ups gave something fresh and different to just a singing show.

Also Ryan and his musical team took risks in changing songs around from their original form, allowing Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself" to become a pensive slower number, and the gender-flipping take on "What It Feels Like For A Girl"...


And even for faithful versions were given honest treatment, like the tear-jerking season-one ending version of Lulu's  "To Sir With Love".


And for this Glee was rewarded with hits. As each week progressed, each episode's tunes would be offered on iTunes, and a volley of tracks sold so much each week to make the Billboard chart. So many that eventually as a unit the Glee Cast would have the most chart hits of any act of all time (200 and counting). This was because fans like me were reacting to the performances, and I would faithfully buy every song every week, and then again pick up the compilation CD's (which there here been seven volumes so far, not counting the special releases).

Ah, if only it would continue.

The first sign that Glee was succumbing to the weight of its promise was the increasing use of background singers on the record, only using whatever solo character that was performing to lay down true vocals. At the time, I considered it a little cheating (if you notice, the original songs didn't have as much backup), but sort of gave it a little pass due to the horrendous schedule the actors would be already going through.

But by the second season, what started as musical innovation turned over into product. It was evident on the get go with the reliance on current pop hits like "Empire State Of Mind" and "Telephone" that were nothing but carbons of the originals on the first episode of season 2. This habit grew, as current hits like Jason Mraz's "Lucky" and Paramore's "Only Exception" were Xerox's that only seemed to be meant to capitalize or their popularity, not specifically add anything to the episode. If you can take the song out and nothing in the show would be different, there's a problem. Also the experiment in season 1 that would the Madonna Episode would be multiplied by rabbits on the second, as Britney, Rocky Horror, and most painfully, the episode built around Fleetwood Mac's Rumours album proves these "stunt" episodes can be too much of a good thing (I'll cover these next time).

There were glimmers of the old Glee still in season 2, like Kurt's flawless gentle take on the Beatles' "I Want To Hold Your Hand", and the Super Bowl mash-up of "Thriller/Heads Will Roll"(suspending reality on the whole storyline there, mind you). But the biggest shot in the arm in season 2 was the introduction of the Warblers. As rivals from the cross-town Dalton school, the group (vocalized in season 2 by Sing-Off winners and college acappella group the Beelzebubs) distilled the true Glee experience to its purest form, with instrument-less yet complex vocal arrangements that made their version of "Teenage Dream" every bit the success they deserved.

                                                       Back when Blaine was used for good

Mind, if you pay attention to the clip, the song will not be their opening number. Like what the actual fuck. Where last season's songs progressed till they arrived at what competition song they will sing, now songs are shuffled and forgotten to the point where they are supposed to be writing a song for Nationals at fucking Nationals. THIS is why you fail. (Also, script.)

As tunes were trotted out as they were licensed, the writing got detached from the music, as themes were stretched to be so generic that any song could be plugged in, and by the end of the second season almost all of the songs had become faithful replicants of the originals, like some sort of adolescent Blade Runner singing-bot. And even though the tracks would continue to sell on iTunes, their shelf-life was close to non-existent, since they were so carbonned from the source that there was no need apart from the show to exist.

Which brings it to season three. Murphy's self-proclaimed "back to basics" season. Yeah.

Well besides throwing the "only one tribute episode" and "no guest stars" promises out the trolling window, Glee and whatever suit apparently now handling music choices turned the show from a narrative and witty sitcom to a variety hour, where whatever promoted hit gets dropped in and the writers are supposed to come around to a reasonably plot for it. Maybe not. With the desire to put in the hit of the day, whether it be "Moves Like Jagger" or "We Found Love" or "Glad You Came" (the latter supposed to be in a performance dedicated to fighting bullying? Really? Really?), the show's once meshed synergy of music and script turned into a telethon for iTunes (or, alternately the Blaine and Rachel Show). It hasn't helped much, as sales have dropped, especially apparent with the Saturday Night Glee-ver abortion, which didn't even produce a single chart hit. Not that that should be important, definitely not. But when songs are leaked and promoted weeks in advance to attempt to drum up ratings instead of letting the quality of the show do that, then this is what you get.

And personally, the decision to deny Dave Karofsky even one musical number, even considering his vocal ability, is a fucking crime. (More on him, Lauren, Dot, and the others on the island of Misfit Gleeks in another installment). Also, Kurt. I don't know whose decision it was to have Kurt have so little musical presence this season, but that person needs to stop it. stop it stop it. Now that Kurt's gone, the opportunity is squelched, and a voice like his is unmatched in the pop TV world.

It's telling there hasn't been a Volume 8 of Glee songs (there's a "Graduation" one coming out from that episode sprinkled with a couple more songs). There's no need. Since now all the production and backup singing from the original is plunked with the chosen (read Rachel/Blaine/Finn) actor and you've got now the glee club version of McDonalds. And we already have that. It's Kidz Bop, and it's for keeping four-year-olds quiet in the back of the minivan.

It may be Fox, greedy for audience and merch sales. It may be Ryan, too bored or overextended (my guess the latter) to concentrate on it. But its a shame that it may be a long time until another show like this happens again.

Up next: the scourge of the "Tribute Episode".

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