Story of the day...The hissy fit to save all hissy fits..

So let's see, nothing politically important happens on a Friday before a holiday, right?

Sarah "Mean Girl" Palin stunned everyone, seemingly including her family and staff, by not only announcing that she will not run for Governor of Alaska next year, but is resigning as of July 26.

Why the rush, Toots? (sorry couldn't help the misogynist smack, bad cubby, bad)

In a rambling, grammatically incorrect speech peppered with air quotes and capitalized words (for emphasis), Palin went on and on about how she's the crucified Jesus in pumps of the Republican party, and how everyone's mean to her and Alaska's better off with her fighting from the "outside" (yes, friggin' air quotes!). As ridiculous as that sounds, the bigger question is what's really pushing this. The "lame duck" scenario is total bullshit, and everyone knows it. She could have easily run (and probably won) as governor for a second term, and like her Wasillan mayoral job, she apparently has a knack for not finishing what she starts. It's like her whole being is behind perpetually running for prom queen.

Sarah, and may I call you - oh wait, I don't give a fuck what you and your suburban hillbilly family think - yes Sarah, we don't think you're unqualified because you're a woman. No, we despise you because you're a sycophantic vacuous gameplayer that uses what goes for a character act to charm the pants off a sizable portion of the peanut gallery that's left in the Republican Party. You have no grasp of any subject that isn't force-fed into your little brain, and your total hypocrisy in social and economic matters is stupefying. You make George W. Bush sound like he really belonged at Yale. Your self-victimization game is laughable, and your ethics are completely substandard. If you're all incensed over denying investigations into your political dealings, why so hush about Todd's? Does he have something to be concerned about?

Or are you just going to lead your Great State of Alaska to secede from the Union, so you can become the delusional first president of an independent Great White North?

Get the fuck out. And take your brood with you. Your reality show's been cancelled.