Come on baby, why don't you show some class, why we gotta move so fast...

There are songs you have no idea how they get popular, then you realise they're stuck in your brain like a tumor. Behold.

Jermaine Stewart started out as a dancer on Soul Train and tried out for the lead in Shalamar along ST vets Jody Watley and Jeffrey Daniels. Alas, not to be. Fast forward to Stewart singing backup on Culture Club's Colour By Numbers album, which apparently gave him enough clout for a record deal with Arista. After a first album produced a minor R&B and pop hit ("The Word Is Out"), Stewart's second album, Frantic Romantic surprised most by producing the top-5 song "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" courtesy of hitmaker-of-the-time Narada Michael Walden. I remember the big talk being about the supposed "safe-sex" message, completely missing the fact that this is being sung by the prissiest guy this side of Boy George (in fact George seems to outbutch him). Doesn't take away the geniune fun of the song considering the lyrics are about slowing things down. The rest of his album runs from the dated R&B in Walden's repetoire (songs like "Dancefloor" and "Don't Ever Leave Me") to the embarassing (the obvious double-entendre "Versatile" and suckup ode to Ms Watley in "Jody"). But the nadir comes in the track "Out To Punish", which is somehow trying to cast Jermaine into some sort of "leather daddy". This guy.

This is complete with him asking for his "whip" and some hired female moaning in the background. OMFG.  (Right-click to bring it up in another window). Not that I'm the most masculine guy on the planet, but come on. I know it's sad (and kind of ironic) that Stewart passed from AIDS in 1997. A rarity CD now, unfortunately for his upbeat voice and earnestness, doesn't quite live up to expectations. Get the "We Don't Have To.." on any compilation you can find, though, if you can.

Grade: D+
Best Cut: "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off"
Weakest Link: "Out To Punish"

Frantic Romantic hit #34 pop albums and #31 R&B albums in the US, and #49 in the UK.
"We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" hit #5 pop singles, #41 dance club, #64 R&B and #2 in the UK.
"Jody" made #42 pop, #18 R&B, #9 dance club, and #50 in the UK.
"Dancefloor" hit #9 dance club as the flip to "Jody".


If you'd like to pick up a copy of Frantic Romantic, you can find it at websites like here and here.